BRUISED

“it was the kind of moon
that I would want to send 

back to my ancestors
& gift to my descendants

so they know that I too,

have been bruised...

by beauty.” 

― Sanober Khan, Turquoise Silence

TALLINN DAY

1. we stumbled on an antiques warehouse near the port

2. lunch at Mon Repos, met by the loveliest staircase...

3. stroll through Kadriorg Park

4. & 5. splendour at Kadriorg Palace

6. building with beautiful bones on the outskirts of the Old Town.

SUNDAY DRIVE

Today, we headed for a Sunday drive

to Malmgård Manor near Lovisa,

which held its annual Christmas market.

It sure is a stunning place.

We stopped off in Porvoo on the way back

for some grub & ambience,

although it was pitch black once we got there.

Otherwise it's been a weekend 

heavy on socialising.

Tonight a glass of red

& a brand new episode

 of Crown season 2 methinks. 

A sweet week ahead! 

x

SHUTTERBUG

These past few weeks

have been work, work, work

- both the writing & the photography kind,

a combination that seems to sit ever so well with me,

and right now I wouldn't have it any other way. 

But today I managed to wrap up 

all the editing for a bigger client,

and r e s t is sinking in

before the next batch of pictures is due. 

 I immediately had the urge to pop over here

& say hello...

So, hello my dear friend,

sorry it's been a while. 

You know that photography bit

- aka love & passion -

well I've gone through all sorts of motions,

as it's recently also turned into a "job",

where not every assignment at the moment

is something that allows me

to shoot like "me". 

And that's given me plenty of material

for soul-searching

& out-of-one's-depth kinda feelings.

But I came to the conclusion

that right now,

I am ever so grateful for each opportunity,

and every single thing I've put my hand to

has made me learn

and led on to something new.

That's something that motivates me,

together with a deep-rooted insistence

to make sure that in between the "not-so-me"

there is also room for "my love" -

whether that's about randomly picking up the camera

 to catch the light or an inconspicuous cup of coffee,

or shoots that make the heart skip a beat

& imagination soar at least as high as that chalky ceiling

of this wonder of a location a couple of weeks ago. 

(I really want to show you more later,

I shall!) 

So reassuring how after a bout of disillusionment,

suddenly all that love and excitement

comes rushing right back,

and pulsates steadily through the veins,
as if back to the state nature intended.

Amid all the "serious work"

it lures towards the seemingly senseless & idiosyncratic.

A deep desire

to keep clicking that shutter

until that weird & wonderful language flows

towards a voice of one's very own. 

More of the heart,

the unfinished, 

the imperfect,

the raw... 
Whatever it is 
that stirs the soul.

And with that little ramble

I bid you goodnight :) 

x

EYES WIDE OPEN

We had a girls' day out on Saturday.

We visited a lovely garden

& sculpture rooms,

had some lunch,

then poked our heads

in small boutiques

before finishing off with cake

washed down with coffee for me

& strawberry juice for her. 

I cherish times like this with my two.

I love to take them to beautiful places,

where time stands still

for a moment,

as you stare at the way

the light falls through the window,

& the soft, dark corners.

Senses wide open.

On the way back,

a message from a dear friend

lights up in the dimness,

as we pass fields, woods and quiet bays.

It's strange how in the half light

you often see the clearest.

We talk about how we both

want to create more beauty in this world,

and how that feeling has intensified lately

with all that's going on.

A mission to dwell on what's good.

So we make some plans.

Now those plans

tingle a little in the stomach. 

ATELIER CÉZANNE

A visit to Paul Cézanne's atelier

on the outskirts of leafy and elegant Aix-en-Provence.

A studio of silence and light.

Despite dodging the crowds with my camera

during a hot day,

this is the place where once only he would enter 

to reflect & work in peace.

His atelier is filled with light

and objects

(although some recreated I'm told)

he would use as motifs in his works -

 overcoats, hats,

three skulls,

porcelain, fruit, fabric, bottles.

"People think how a sugar basin has no physiognomy, 

no soul. 

But it changes every day,"

he once said.

Crumbling layers of paint,

the walls the most soothing tone of grey,

kissed by the passing years.

He had initially painted everything white,

the guide says,

but the reds reflected from outside

had clashed,

and so he painstakingly mixed pigments

that would form the perfect backdrop.

Despite the crowds,

you sense his presence

& feel inspired by his passion,

 enduring hard work

and humility.

"I could paint for a hundred years, 

a thousand years without stopping 

and I would still feel as though I knew nothing."

x