TODAY

Today I'm flying low

& I'm not saying a word.

I'm letting all the voodoos of ambition sleep.

The world goes on as it must,

the bees in the garden rumbling a little,

the fish leaping,

the gnats getting eaten.

And so forth.

But I'm taking the day off.

Quiet as a feather.

I hardly move 

though really I'm travelling 

a terrific distance.

Stillness. 

One of the doors 

into the temple.

~ Mary Oliver

GREEN & (G)OLD

"I'm looking at a life unfold
Dreaming of the green and gold
Just like the ancient stone
Every sunrise I know
Those eyes you gave to me
That let me see
Where I come from..."

(named the post 

& realised there was a song for that...)

  A few green & old glimpses from where half of me

& my other half come from...

Lush plants in Hastings at the top,

Air & Space Hall in Manchester,

where we visited my brother & his family, 

followed by a visit to my aunty and grandma 

in the Midlands. 

An ancient tombstone in the tiny village of Eynsford,

where the two of us escaped for breakfast 

the morning after a village wedding,

where husband's 79-year-old aunt

was totally outshining us younger ones 

on the dance floor :) 

  Late afternoon coffee in Brighton,

as the sun was going down.

Aunties, grannies, cousins, friends,

lovely little places...

Plenty of gold nuggets crammed into a week.

x

BROKEN

“Life cracks us into unrecognizable shards 

of former incarnations. 

Slivers of our hurt and our pain and our shame 

nestles next to fragments 

of our truth, our divinity, 

our fierce reclamation of power."

"It is this very brokenness that allows us to knit together, 

kaleidoscope style. 

And we spin and shift and turn to the light 

until we appear brilliant, 

lit from within. 

Suddenly we are revealed; 

unexpected beauty born directly from brokenness."

"We have to be willing to break in order to become.” 

words: Jeanette LeBlanc

OPEN & CLOSED

October the first.

Trees still mostly green,

but this last week

a definite shift in the air.

Although a tad apprehensive

about the increasing coldness that awaits,

I take pleasure in these shifting seasons,

a reminder of each moment having its own beauty,

its own soul.

And amid the constant changes,

I value what has remained over the years.

Family, old, steadfast friends.

As autumn gains a deeper layer,

in between the calendar entries,

I get an urge to huddle and quieten down.

In the best case, 

give my all to each encounter,

then in the quiet moments

meet with my own soul.

In the autumn dimness,

have ever clearer eyes.

"Your hand opens & closes,

opens & closes.

If it were always a fist

or always stretched open,

you would be paralysed.

Your deepest presence

is in every small contracting & expanding,

the two as beautifully balanced & coordinated

as birds' wings."

~ Rumi

NOTHING TO ADD

The first of May tomorrow,

and yesterday it snowed.

I was cooped under the covers 

with a spring flu

& didn't really mind

with all the glow 

that arrived in the form of

writings on creativity, 

photography vibes,

& a film with one of my absolute favourites,

 Lena Endre,

 transporting  me

to the windswept coastline of Öland.

Today I fancied picking up the camera,

take away any excess. 

Simple forms,

simple things

– honey, glass that reflects the morning light,

the drinking glass made by a friend,

who is a glass artist,

the caraf a souvenir from a market in France.

An attempt to catch some tender luminosity,

while the head is a soft, warm blur. 

x

SHUTTERBUG

These past few weeks

have been work, work, work

- both the writing & the photography kind,

a combination that seems to sit ever so well with me,

and right now I wouldn't have it any other way. 

But today I managed to wrap up 

all the editing for a bigger client,

and r e s t is sinking in

before the next batch of pictures is due. 

 I immediately had the urge to pop over here

& say hello...

So, hello my dear friend,

sorry it's been a while. 

You know that photography bit

- aka love & passion -

well I've gone through all sorts of motions,

as it's recently also turned into a "job",

where not every assignment at the moment

is something that allows me

to shoot like "me". 

And that's given me plenty of material

for soul-searching

& out-of-one's-depth kinda feelings.

But I came to the conclusion

that right now,

I am ever so grateful for each opportunity,

and every single thing I've put my hand to

has made me learn

and led on to something new.

That's something that motivates me,

together with a deep-rooted insistence

to make sure that in between the "not-so-me"

there is also room for "my love" -

whether that's about randomly picking up the camera

 to catch the light or an inconspicuous cup of coffee,

or shoots that make the heart skip a beat

& imagination soar at least as high as that chalky ceiling

of this wonder of a location a couple of weeks ago. 

(I really want to show you more later,

I shall!) 

So reassuring how after a bout of disillusionment,

suddenly all that love and excitement

comes rushing right back,

and pulsates steadily through the veins,
as if back to the state nature intended.

Amid all the "serious work"

it lures towards the seemingly senseless & idiosyncratic.

A deep desire

to keep clicking that shutter

until that weird & wonderful language flows

towards a voice of one's very own. 

More of the heart,

the unfinished, 

the imperfect,

the raw... 
Whatever it is 
that stirs the soul.

And with that little ramble

I bid you goodnight :) 

x